My first week of blogging here, and wouldn’t you know it, I stumbled across this NY Times article written by a journalist who was diagnosed with Crohn disease.
The money quote for me is this:
But most of all, your relationship with yourself changes. You grieve a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore, and a future version that looks different than you’d planned.
Yes. That’s it. I’m not the me I used to be. I miss who I was. Between the diabetes and the hemorrhagic stroke, I am now faced with a future where I die first and leave my husband a widower. We used to joke that we want to die in our sleep together, some time after our 80th wedding anniversary (if not our 100th), and our last words will be “Good night, sweetie.” Now I’ll feel lucky if we make it to our 50th anniversary.
I keep going on. I have no choice. I don’t want to waste however much time I have left.
Rachel
I'm a writer, a knitter/spinner/weaver, a young stroke survivor, and a type 2 diabetic.
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